Jokes, riddles, one-liners, puns, and humor abound to make even the grouchiest grouch laugh or at least smile.

extreme poetry ...




Don’t Get Married So Fast!


Statistics show about half of them might not make it.
Going down the aisle? Please don’t to fake it.
Planning a wedding is one thing; living together another!
So be very careful unless you really, really, love each other.

It’s not just about you, there could be a kid—
Everyone knows weddings are overdid.
Do you know each other enough to get hitched?
You might have a scratch that needs to be itched!

Child support payments?  Divorce is not fair for any child,
If she’s more “into” the wedding than you, it’s okay to be riled.
If he’s got “problems” now, there’s a chance they’ll get worse,
You better talk things out before your wedding rehearse.

If you marry for status, money or security,
You’re denying all kinds of problems and immaturity.
If you’re getting hitched just for the sex,
You have a hand, you don’t need an ex!

--Ken Levens




Why Are You Here?


Thank your parents for not drowning you,
Thank your teachers, there were quite a few.
How’s the job?  You’re more than a job description.
How’s your personal life?  There is a prescription!

Turn off the ipod, video game, and television.
It’s okay to get out of a rut and any tunnel vision.
Advertisers want you to be like everyone,
Their job is easier and you have less fun.

Find out what you like to do; your life will get better.
Having a happier life could make you a trendsetter!
Quiet is good for everyone.  Some people meditate.
If you’re not happy, it’s time to investigate.

Begin slowly at first—we all have many a choice,
No matter your age or situation, you can rejoice!
Was it Yoda who said, “It’s okay to yourself re-invent.”
That’s better than living life as a song of lament.

We have personal problems—you are not alone.
You can re-do or re-adjust your own “Twilight Zone.”
Excuses, blame and whine only make people standstill,
Let go, get some goals, and become the king of the hill.

Visit a library and all bookstores,
Talk to life coaches, counselors, and mentors.
Those who are curious always live longer,
Find your purpose by being an avid questmonger.

Read, ask questions and get on the internet,
As you study your options-- get out of debt.
Find out now why you’re here, instead of later,
Life is too valuable to just be another imitator.

--Ken Levens




Love Defined

Valentine’s Day should be a national holiday,
40% of all adults are single and that’s okay.
This poem is about the “couples only” kind of love,
A high divorce rate is not highly thought of.
Many times it’s better to live alone,
Than to be in someone’s “Twilight Zone.”
No one needs to “settle” or to pine,
There are better ways to spend one’s time.
If we love ourselves, our lives work,
Love yourself is armor against the bitches and jerks.
Don’t end up like Bonny and Clyde,
Nor like Claus von Bulow’s second bride.
Life isn’t ruled by fear, guilt, or sadness,
Find out what love is and get out of the madness.
Love isn’t about candy, flowers, or karats,
It’s about listening, time together, and merit.
To love is to really understand,
To be together, to be hand-in-hand.
Consideration is the genuine love potion,
Someone loves or not, there is no commotion.
You have the right to be hugged,
Domestic violence is bad—don’t be mugged.
Share this poem with everyone—that’s really cool.
Find out what they think so that no one’s a fool.
Love begins when nothing is expected in return,
Observe….act….watch….live….love…. and…. learn.
Love is when two people don’t like to be apart,
They want to share everything heart to heart.

To love is to stop comparing,
Acceptance is not about repairing.
Listening is love’s first real duty,
Can’t listen?  Is someone being snooty?
Love is not abusive, arrogant or rude,
Love is sincere with lots of gratitude.
Selfishness is not a part of love,
Both people’s needs are met thereof.

Love is shown in deeds, not in words,
Love at first sight is for the birds.
Love is friendship, affection, respect,
These qualities a relationship should expect.
Do public things together before anything serious,
You don’t want to find out later that you were delirious!
Time together and effort by each is well-spent,
Because a successful relationship is an achievement.
Love is a feeling of being at ease,
Both partners are trying their best to please.
Never make a promise that can’t be met,
Love is not about anger, or making a threat.
Love is passion, admiration, and respect,
It’s not about verbal abuse, violence, or neglect.
They say the best proof of love is trust,
Not there? An examination is a must.
If their action doesn’t match their word,
Call them on it or give them the bird.
Resentment and anger don’t get along,
Talk together and sing the same song.
Assumptions will get you into trouble,
Talk and ask questions to keep love’s bubble.
You have needs that should be met,
Your partner does too, let’s not forget.
Love is growing up and having good sense,
Every action has some sort of consequence.
Love is a thing that sharpens our wits,
It’s a refreshment in life when life is the pits.
Love is a game that two can play and both win,
Love is about hanging out with someone again and again.
No one has all the power or is always right,
You’re both equal because that’s your birthright.
Love’s chemistry thrives best in equal heat,
Keep each other happy; play “trick or treat.”
Caring, intimacy, and loyalty are a priority,
Passion helps with love—even the seniority.
Love creates “us” without destroying “me.”
Love has a sense of humor-- even in Tennessee.
Love is a feeling of togetherness; and oneness of heart,
Alone time is okay; so is a good fart!
“Grateful” and “Thankful” are part of this school,
Tell your partner when something good is “cool.”
Love is day after day with some compromise,
And yet cheerfulness is easy to verbalize.
Love is psychic energy—both the sweet and the sour,
Love is about doing something together any old hour.
To love someone is to acknowledge the good of who they are,
Honest compliments and a smile makes one feel like a star.
Love can hope where reason would despair,
Love is all about being fair and square.
Love is everything it’s cracked up to be,
Friendship, kindness, and joy in a “we.”
                                             --Ken Levens Love Defined



A Short Ode to Music


Corporations produce new songs all the time,
For all age groups and markets--- it’s a crime.
Big Business can’t make any money from quiet,
They have a variety of songs and want you to buy it.

Songs are a habit from childhood, you know?
Big business uses singers you can not outgrow.
Classical music used to be five hundred years old,
Today it’s much younger; most are solid gold.

During the ‘20’s when the real music began,
Everyone could sing, play an instrument, or be in a band.
People gathered at street corners and sang a cappella,
Everyone could sing then, including Cinderella.

Then records and radio became corporations,
Markets and celebs became new vibrations.
Any age can sing.  Have you seen Young@Heart?
Teachers in your neighborhood will help you start.

Singing well in the bath could be in your future,
Try caroling or a choir or be a karaoke moocher.
Don’t let the corporate celebrities do your singing for you,
Support local bands. Sing on your own and save money too.

--Ken Levens






Why would you care about someone who doesn’t care about you?
Stars don’t send you a birthday card or invite you to their barBcue.
Paparazzi kill themselves for the best photograph,
For people you don’t know at all—but it’s on your behalf?

Perhaps we should pay attention to ourselves or our spouse?
Care about people in our lives—relatives, friends, or our house!
The Insider, Access Hollywood, and Entertainment Tonight,
What a large, juicy waste of time, but that’s just hindsight.

A celebrity is someone known for their well-knownness
Rehab, drunk driving, divorce, or undress—what a mess!
Models, singers, actors are just people with a name,
Quit giving them your time and claim your own fame!

--Ken Levens




Labor, Civil, and Women’s Rights


The Tea Party became our Declaration of Independence,
Protest helped our human rights be our common sense.
Dissent and protesting are what formed our great nation,
Now everything is controlled by some damn corporation.

Cops who hurt protesters are the scum of the earth,
Their mothers are ashamed that they even gave birth.
Their dads don’t think their actions were the sporting thing to do,
Change laws now-- so cops must be humane and not misdo.
--Ken Levens




Angry Santa


Santa came in from the cold and took off his big coat,
Then he looked and he looked, but couldn’t find the remote.
He growled and he whined and began to beg,
“Sorry,” said his wife, who had done Jenny Craig.

“Being fat is dangerous and doesn’t make you jolly,
This myth is bad and could be your big folly.”
“Where’s the remote? I want to relax!”
“Sorry. Overweight people are prone to heart attacks.”

“I’m going to get exercise by touching the television?”
“It’s better than diabetes and losing your vision!”
“Where’s the remote? Did you throw it in the trash bin?
You focus on food—you’ll be at it again.”

“I’ve got a new focus,” she said with a smile.
“It’s something we haven’t done for a long while.
Obesity might just make you a cancer statistic,
I’ve got something in mind that’s more holistic.

Remember all the fun we had after we were to marry?
Every evening and some mornings were extraordinary!
Starting now—seconds will only happen in the bedroom,
We’re Mr. and Mrs. Claus, but we’re still bride and groom!”
Santa thought and then he smiled, “My cholesterol has been high.
We’ll both exercise and every night will be the Fourth of July!”

--Ken Levens




Got Happiness?


If your life is boring, unhappy, or simply not right,
Did you know you could change it with some insight?
Have you heard of “The Secret” or “The Power of Now”?
Some simple ideas could make your life: “Wow!!”

Change your thoughts--change your life,
Don’t live with anger, or strife.
Your future is yours.  It’s probably about time to get curious,
Be open to some new ideas, aren’t you tired of being furious?

If you’re not getting any kind of satisfaction,
You need to know about the law of attraction.
Have you read “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Peale?
You may want to change the way you think with some zeal.

You become what you think, so watch your thoughts,
Complaints and depression can tie you in knots.
Replace blame and excuses with a gratitude attitude,
Read, set goals, take action and get yourself renewed.

--Ken Levens

love and work...

Warning: No one can love you if you don't already love yourself.
Everyone has worth and value, whether they're in a relationship or not. BOTH PEOPLE ARE HAPPY--that's a requirement for a "love" relationship.

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